Waking up this morning was kind of hazy. I was in a dream that went sort of like this….
As my eyes opened from a deep sleep I didn’t want to wake from, I felt wounded but I wasn’t bleeding. Everything on my body was stiff and difficult to move. As I opened my eyes I realized that nothing was as it should have been. The physical things were there in front of me. The bed I was laying on, the chair across the room was still there with evidence of Jacks claws. The closet, the plants and flowers outside were all still there but there was a grayish film over everything.
Its like the fog had encompassed everything that existed and muted its color, almost to black and white. As I started to move I was coming back into my own natural color and was getting the sense that everything had become numb. Like the feeling that you get when your at the dentist you can feel but not completely.
As I got out of bed, the bed itself gained its color back and as I walked across the tile floor in my room the tile an earthy color had come-back step by step as I walked across it. It was as if the whole world had stopped and the only way to bring things back to its original color or state was to touch it. To combine energies if you will. I went outside and I was no longer in the jungle in Panama but on a city street, I don’t know where, it didn’t matter. There was no color around me and the cars were stopped on the streets and on the highways. There was no sound but the beat of my heart.
I felt the urge to try to start a car to see what was really happening. The first car I came to had keys but nobody around. As I touched the door, the color of the car was a tan color with the sun shining on it and was coming into place. The warmth of the bodies that were there moments before could be felt but not seen. I turned the ignition on and the car started. I cut it off and with out movement found myself back in my house in the bathroom thinking to check the water, if there was to be water.
I checked the shower and the gray shower stall turned to the blue and white tile as the water showered clearly out of the spout just as it had done many times before. I picked up the grayish bottle of shampoo and the bottle changed its color to a summery yellow hue and as I poured the shampoo in my hand it came out in the golden honey color and the fresh light scent that I would have always expected. I washed my hands and went back outside.
I decided at that point what was lacking was my energy. Not flick on the light switch energy but a loving energy. This was what I was lacking in the low I sank to yesterday. It was an uncomfortable low at that. As I moved around life started back up as I knew it before. I pet the cats and they came into their beautiful Maine Coon colors that I have always loved. The warmth of their fur felt like they had been sitting in the sunshine for hours.
Why is this being shown to me in this way? Is it because I was losing sight? Maybe, and maybe focusing so much on the physical stuff that I needed to be reminded that there are underlying reasons of why we exist. The veil of gray over the city need to be changed and it needed people like me to be around to change it. To touch someone or be in another persons energy is like giving them the spark they need from you or you from them. Like not being charged but super charged. The dream in itself didn’t last long but the feeling from it did.
What I am doing here came to be more clear for me today. I know in my heart that when you step into a room you are not just that physical being but spirit too. A mentor of mine once said that we don’t always have to do something to help people around us. That it sometimes just takes us being in the same space as them to help raise the vibration of that person or that moment. Increase the sense of awareness and raise the vibration. Raise the vibration and you shift the energy not only in you but around you.
So as I walked through my dream bringing everything that was gray back to life with color and energy. It reminds me that I really don’t have the right to take myself out of the equation. That even though it doesn’t on most days seem like it would matter if I were alive or not is wrong. Even though there aren’t many people in my presence it is not the amount of people you come in contact with but what you accomplish while you have them in your presence. So yesterdays thoughts of exiting this planet and kissing this life a fast farewell have gone by the wayside. I will put more effort into whats to come and what I will have to offer when the moment presents itself.