Salt water is what feeds my soul. It soaks into my pours and regenerates every cell in my body. Whether its through the sea or tears or the sweat that Ive poured out in my life from hard work. It makes me feel whole. Lately I sit here in Panama in the jungle surrounded by all of this beautiful wildlife and wonder whats missing. Its the saltwater that makes me feel complete, so I feel like part of me is missing. Although its been an experience here in Panama and I wouldn’t take it back, I am ready to go.

I have been toying with where to be for my 50th birthday. I’m gonna make it a good one so I am feeling like Bora Bora is it. Its on the bucket list and its warm and has all of the ingredients that make me whole again. Crystal clear water, fresh air and the entire under water life below me. I have been blessed to experience some beautiful places in my life and it would be a shame to ignore the fact that Bora Bora has been calling me for years now.

Since I went on my first real vacation in my early twenties, Bora Bora has always been on my mind. I sat in an office chatting with my boss about where to go as I was looking through all of  these different brochures. Thank God for the brochures, they helped me keep my dream alive. I went on a cruise as my first vacation and the next year followed that up with a two week vacation in the Caribbean at the club med Turks & Caicos and then Martinique. The cruise was ok for a start but it was the Turks & Caicos islands that did it for me.

I went diving every day and swam with Jo Jo the horny dolphin. He would come into the shallow water and hang out with the people. He befriended a dive instructor there and had been hanging out ever since. I think he was deformed and couldn’t mate with the other dolphins. So occasionally he could be found humping a buoy in the channel. When he approached we were told by the dive instructor to stay calm and make no sudden movements.

Jo Jo was a people dolphin and I so appreciated him and the experience. He would slowly swim up to me and touching me with his fin he would circle me and then put his nose to the sand and just stay there. I didn’t realize his penis was out the whole time. He never tried to hump people, thank goodness. When I went swimming down the beach a bit farther (where we could tan topless) he would come visit and if he didn’t want you to leave the water he would swim in front of you. I will never forget Jo Jo as long as I live.

I cried when I left the Turks & Caicos and it would be many years later that I finally returned. Its these sort of experiences that I have been lacking the last few years. Yes Panama has the Pearl islands and blah blah blah. It also has the Panamanian culture that hasn’t reached an astute vibration yet. It doesn’t embrace you like other places Ive been so I am not willing to put forth the effort any longer. I will save my self for the next destination.  I can feel the sand in my toes already as I walk down the beach. Then return to my over the water bungalow of luxury to watch the sun setting as I sip my wine and rest my tan rejuvenated body. I can just feel it now…cant you?