Today I feel like pouting for just a bit. I have been dealing with not being able to reach my mom by phone for about 2 weeks now. My step dad took her on a 3 week vacation. I’m not sure I would really call it a vacation because they are spending the majority of the time in a car. He loves to drive and so they are in California for what appears to be a last hoorah for my mom. He agreed to contact me any time they left on a holiday so that I wouldn’t worry about her. Well, yet again, he has broken a promise.

She has Alzheimer’s and is progressing in her disease. I believe that neglect has sped up the progression of this disease. He has been working and leaving her home alone. She is prone to depression and has in her words had “the blues” a lot lately. She has wanted him to stop working for a while now,but of course, that hasn’t happened. Since I have last talked to my mom, a few weeks ago, her hearing is so bad you have to yell for her to hear you. This is a new problem.

I had to do a lot of skip tracing to get a hold of them and find out where they were and what the plan is. So I finally found them in California. She is in bad shape. I don’t believe that my step dad has bad intentions. I just think he has no idea about the disease and what its doing to her. I believe he is getting ready to put her in a nursing home where his mother is. I am furious and cant do a thing about it at the moment.

Whats so frustrating about this is that my mom and I have spoken over the last several years about her last days and had agreed that I would be the one to take care of her. I cant get there until I sell the house I am in. I am feeling like I got cheated on the first years of my mom. She kicked me out at the age of 14. Now I am being cheated out of seeing her in her last years. I just don’t get it.

So yes, I am pouting for the moment. I know that our family is so “Jerry Springer” that even Jerry Springer couldn’t keep up. She is it for me though, the last major connect to family that I have in this life. It’s her journey and I know its best to honor that, but I’m sad that we haven’t had much time together. I hope that some miracle happens before she leaves us and I am allowed to reconnect with her. I’m just sayin.