Opening my heart to love is not an easy thing to do. If there is ever anyone who needs confirmation that she is loved, its me. While I want to focus my life on helping others through Reiki, Elder Care or Hospice, I can’t ignore what my heart wants.
I have been powering through life building tough layers of skin to protect myself and now I have to tear those layers away. It has to be done to be realized and to be loved. It’s so much easier to go through life surviving and getting things done. Accomplishing menial tasks that are good for nothing but taking up precious time serves no purpose.
Its time to let go of the layers of protection that I have surrounded myself with. Its time to allow myself to love again but more important to feel love. Not the lust and passion of a one night stand but love. The kind of love that can embrace your entire being in a light of calm and peaceful energy.
I want that one look from someone who says “No matter what happens at the end of the day, no being in existence will love or care about you more than I do…ever”. I’ve seen it in people who have stayed at my guest house. They can speak a thousand words with one look. One brush of a hand on the shoulder as they finish each others sentences.
The last couple that impressed me this much had been married 36 years this past week. I may not have that many years left on this planet but I want to feel that kind of love. I have felt all of the other intense emotions, Joy, Peace, Rage, Hate, Fear and Anger. Its time for something smoother and more in line with who I am now.
So to get there I’m going to try to keep myself out-of-the-way of negative energy and harsh words. I am affected by energy in ways that are very difficult to explain. With political slandering and negative comments on how and why people are the way they are in this moment in the world, I feel that.
I don’t watch the news because its fiction for the most part anyway. There is too much manipulation done to create emotion for the wrong reasons. It is written to steer you one direction or another. I tune it out and turn it off. It’s not helping anyone anyway.
To allow myself to be ready to trust someone I will feel better keeping things more honest and positive around me. There are answers to certain challenges around us. If people are acting badly they are probably in need of something that can’t be bought, but can be given. A child forgetting their manners needs someone to care enough to reach out and teach them or remind them how to act astutely or with awareness.
Today I am guided to open my heart to receive love in ways I have never felt before and even though its going feel a bit scary I’m ready to have that smoothness in my life. This is the way I am walking today.