As I stood at my front door, coffee mug in hand, one early morning in July, I felt as if I was saying goodbye to the person I was at that moment. I often stand at my front door looking out over the river while giving thanks for so many things. It was this morning that I stood in gratitude I said goodbye to what I had become and was now guided to welcome my new self in to this life.
The sun was just breaking over the horizon and I thought this is it, I will never be in this moment and be the way I am right now. I wont ever think how I think right now at this moment. Something big is about to happen. Change is coming and it felt so good. I embrace change as my one constant. Its that swirl of energy that moves in and out of your space and around your being. A swirl that can never be tamed.
I love change because its what I know best. In 2005 I came to a crossroads at the age of 40 and went back to school to get a degree and learn massage therapy. Who knew that it would lead me down a path of communicating with Spirit. In my younger years I would have said your off your rocker if you think Im gonna sit around and talk to dead people. But that is exactly what happened. Not at the snap of a finger but slowly my life changed in a way that lead me to know it was possible. Then God sent me an angel that told me to get my shit together. The angel said that it was time to stop messing around and focus on giving back. This is why I came back from death at the age of 29.
So early in the morning on July 3rd I found myself saying goodbye to Picasso the massage therapist, reiki master and channel of soul charts. I was open to this new beginning and had no idea what to expect but I knew to stand in faith no matter what. I trust God and Spirit to get me where I need to be. I just have to stay out of the way so these things can happen.
A few months earlier the volume had been turned up on my abilities to sense certain things. I was seeing, hearing and feeling everything more intensely than before. I knew I needed to learn what to do with this, and that I couldn’t just play in the energy. It was time to help people with this new thing that was happening. Whatever it was.
So I pay attention when something is put in my path 3 times. Only this time I didn’t bother waiting on the 3rd message. I took the leap of faith. Recently I learned about a place called Arthur Findlay College located in Standsted England. Its the oldest and most sacred place for advancement of Spiritualism and Psychic sciences. Sort of a “Hogwartz” for mediums. I could never have afforded it at the time but when all of this happened, some very special people gifted money to me (sneakily I might add).
I didn’t know what to do or say and then all of the signs fell into place and it became so clear and I knew exactly what to do. I said goodbye to everything I had learned so far and hello to the British way of evidence based mediumship. Holy shit, I hadn’t been thrown into the deep end of the pool, I jumped! Because I had faith, I realized I wouldn’t drown.
It has been
one of the hottest summers ever in England. There had been no rain for more than a month and everything was wilting. Including the Tudors at Stansted. However the British way is to have a stiff upper lip and keep up the standard in which they were accustomed to teaching. I signed up for a week long class and was placed with a Tudor by the name of Janet Nohavec. She is an ex-catholic nun from New Jersey. I was afraid I had made a big mistake, after watching my classmates stand on a platform and demonstrate mediumship skills, but Janet guided me to connect with a part of myself that could do what everyone else was doing.
I was the least experienced of my class but I kept saying to myself, well shit, I’m here to learn and to grow so I better get out of my own way. It wasn’t easy. I had to listen to the lead Tudor Simon James, go on and on about how American Mediums are wreck-less and irresponsible and we don’t know what we are doing. He would go on about how the British need to come over to America and teach us a thing or two.
After about the 3rd day I was getting pissed off and was about to stand up and say something. Then I was made aware of the fact that he was right. There is so little evidence based mediumship and an absolute over abundance of psychic channels like myself. It doesn’t mean that we are wrong in what we are doing it just means that we have no foundation on which to base the information that comes through.
Things changed for me in that few days. I listened and stopped pushing away this traditional way of thinking, which was new to me. I opened myself up to a new way of communicating. Its not completely smooth for me yet but Im learning to sit in my own power and expand. I have learned to invite Spirit in to my space in a more respectful and traditional way.
This is the change that I felt so deeply as I stood at my door looking out over the water that peaceful morning. I said good bye to a way that I knew I was so comfortable with and hello to a language that holds a higher frequency. One that gives me the ability to be of service to people and to Spirit. What a powerfully blessed feeling that is.