There are only two foods that I truly despise to the core of my being. One is Liver and the other is lima beans. Which is really green liver in disguise. They are the same gritty consistency  and smell and should both just be called green and get it over with. If I could put a smell to it, it would be the smell of stinky sneakers after a month long camping trip.

When I was a kid I would put more ketchup and mustard on the liver and lima beans mom would give us, hoping that it would slide down my throat skipping all taste buds on the way. The rule at home was “clean your plate or you don’t leave the table”. Good God…who ever made up that rule would have no idea what torture would ensue. It was torture trying to stare down the tiny green stink mongers. Luckily for me there were 6 kids in our family and that allowed for plenty of distractions.

I remember slyly putting the chewed  up wad of liver in my napkin as I wiped my mouth. Then slowly and carefully easing the smushed mound onto the ledge that existed underneath the table. Oh Yeah! Success ! Never to be discovered until we moved from that house and the table moved.  Picture in your mind, the large table that seated a family of eight tips to its side to be taken from the house to the moving truck, revealing  the evidence from dinners past.

Of course all of us kids scattered when the table got moved, just knowing what was to come. The big reveal. My mother must have pissed herself laughing at said evidence. She never brought it up to us . To this day as a grown ass woman who has traveled and been around the foodie world I wont submit myself to the tortures of the past. When I see liver or lima beans I go right back to that table of eight and figure out in what way I’m going to stealthily rid myself of the offensive organ, green or otherwise.