Fabricator,Perjurer or Lying Rat Bastard, you choose what to call it when people say untruths about you or yours. I was going to get this out of my system yesterday, but there was still steam coming out of my ears. One of the things I have the least tolerance for is liars. Which is weird because I come from a long line of liars. It just so happens that I live in a country where lying is as easy as breathing. It second nature.
What I have yet to figure out is what is the gain. There has to be a gain or a pay off in doing something like that. I am not perfect by any means I have my faults. I am blunt,brash and forward in my ways but the last thing I will probably do to you, is lie to you.
When I first moved to Panama I knew it was like that but I didn’t realize to what extent. If I think about it maybe it’s not just Panama but Latin America that is this way. The family that was just here to view my home for possible purchase is from Venezuela, and they lied through their teeth to the realtor about the whether I would negotiate a price or not. Blatant Lies.
My ex-ex boyfriend is Cuban and he lied for more than 2 years before he finally got a case of the guilties and fessed up to being married. You think it would have been a good idea before he asked me to marry him to let go of the first wife and two children. Hmmm, maybe that was just a guy thing.
The truth is there is so much lying going on here its hard to keep up. It creates a constant state of disbelief and that is very uncomfortable. I want to believe in what you’re saying when you are speaking to me. I don’t want to be the one who sits back and says “Ah, don’t believe a word that guy says because he is Panamanian”. I hate that.
I have friends who are from here and when I ask why is lying so much a part of the fabric of this country ? The answer is usually given with their eyes looking down and just shrugging their shoulders. You know I think I had it figured out at one point and have just been whirling in my own world and have forgotten. My country is full of liars too but they are better at hiding it. Here its just really out in the open. It’s just accepted as part of what to expect.
So yesterday I stomped and huffed around and said that’s it I’m just going to be a lying rat bastard like the rest of everybody else. I told myself that as I was driving down the mountain to get provisions for upcoming guests. By the time I got home from driving in the pollution and noise that is what Panama is becoming, I settled down. This morning is better,
I don’t want to be a lying rat bastard, really. I also don’t want to be a part of the acceptance of it either. I have a hard enough time just existing in the craziness that is life. I am going to try not to let the beauty of this country fade into the mist of the untruths that are a part the everyday living here. Buen Suerte to me.