A Gift

She gave me a gift by letting me go all those years back. My mom, I mean. Even though bad things happened to me, it was my journey and it would have been so much more painful to stay when I was fourteen. My mom is standing on the edge of here and there. She is more there in that next place than she is here. It is Alzheimer’s that has taken her there.

With some people it’s an accident, a coma or some kind of dementia that will help a soul play on both sides. She is ready now, and every time I call her I feel less and less of her physical being and more of her soul’s energy.  Last night a friend sacrificed her chance at receiving a message from spirit in a channeling group meeting. She asked for a message from my mom to me. It was a blessing for me and I thank you Joy, my friend my sister, for allowing that to take place. I also acknowledge and thank the spiritual channel Laura Mirante for passing the message.

It will be the message that completes the cycle for me when it comes to the care of my mom in this life time. This morning I listened to her soul acknowledge my attempts to protect her and also acknowledge that I had fear for her safety even at a very young age. She knows now what I went through in trying to keep her safe. It was awful, but it did make me strong.

The message from my mom, was that she is in a place where she can better help me now. Her soul is ready to move on and be in that place where she can provide guidance and clarity for me. She is going to help me remove myself from the stagnation of where I have been. I’m glad that she said it so that I can let go of the worry that I have had for her physical body. I know that she is not getting the care that I could or would provide for her, if I was by her side.

Her husband leaves her alone all day and I have been trying with everything I have to be able to get there, to be there for her and it wasn’t meant to be. I see that now and understand that now but its been hard from such a distance. Every time I have called she doesn’t know if she has eaten or even what day it is. She is simply in it for the ride now and that’s almost over. Yesterday something made her hungry but she wasn’t able to make herself something to eat. That part just kills me inside. I want her to be fed and hydrated and loved.

She has chosen a place where she feels connected, to be the place where she will leave us. Her physical body anyway. My mom has said this for a long time now, that the house that she is in, is the last stop for her. It is the oldest house in her area. More than 200 years old. When you step into the old house you can feel the energy from so long ago. It seems like my mom had some connection to that family. I don’t really know how, but that is what it feels like.

She came from a poor family and tried to fly more freely when she was young,  but couldn’t. She kept getting pulled back. So when she and her second husband kicked me out of the house at such a young age it was devastating, but had I stayed it would have been worse than anything that hurt me along the way. The rape, the death the liars and cheaters that I fell in love with. It would have been worse had I stayed.

So I see that now as a gift from her, and that’s how it comes across when her soul shines through in any message or channeling. There was so much pain involved in being kicked out,  but it was quicker than the slow pain I would have experienced had I fought to stay. It was a gift of freedom and strength. I see that now. It only took a few decades to get there but I understand now.

I know that when she leaves her physical body she will be with the one I call “Tears from Heaven” . A spirit who has been around for a long time waiting patiently for her. He was my father on this earth plane and my moms soul mate. They had something very special and untangled. He will guide her to where her soul calls home. They will be together again.

As I write these words I know she will get the message from me. I will walk through my house or in my garden and speak to her freely before she is even gone, because I know she is there for me. More now than she ever was. I am grateful for that and I hope that she will help me learn more about the disease of Alzheimer’s.  So that I can one day help other people in their understanding of the next place and the thin veil that separates there from here.

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