There is a fine line between completely letting go of your past and yet holding on to just enough to teach others from your experiences. I am walking that line as we speak. The past is the past, yeah yeah , we all know that . We get through the turmoil and learn to move on.
What I am talking about is, as I write my story I have to step back into the past in order to remember what it felt like. While I have forgiven those that have chosen to dissect my soul, my very being, I want to you to feel what I am describing in my words. I want you to know the emotion I am feeling before you read the next line.
How can I do this without setting myself back? How do I get you to feel the absolute shock and fear if I don’t go back and feel it again myself? I have let go of so much, but I’m finding myself grasping on to the last little bits so I can describe them to you. So that somehow when my existence ends here, there will be something left to show what it is that I survived.
I now have courage without fear in my life, whereas in my younger days I had courage but with a hell of a lot of fear attached. I want to describe things to you so that you get the full emotion but I don’t want to slow my growth as a soul, just because I want to get my point across. I don’t know how to do that and I am struggling.
I have evolved as a soul and I look at life from the perspective we are all energy and that when we are finished with this life, we aren’t really through we simply take another shape in a different realm. So looking at things from this light it would seem to be very easy to pass the words and the description’s on to help others who may be going through similar experiences.
I want people to know that its illusion and we create what our experiences are. So here is where I want to tread lightly. I want my soul to let go of things that no longer belong to me. I want my soul to release those things that no longer serve me purpose. I want my soul to feel like what it truly is, light as a feather and unencumbered by all of the drama I have created as part of my experience.
The energy is strong tonight as I am writing this and I am unable to sleep. It’s almost midnight and the sky is being charged with the most brilliant lightning. I tried to sleep but I kept hearing “Its A Fine Line”, over and over. So I will walk the line and try to keep myself from falling backward instead I will be dancing forward.
I want you to know there is more than what sits in front of you . Look deeper and when you dream, dream bigger than you ever imagined you could. There is much more to be learned and more to be forgiven. It may take many tries, but I say break free of the binds. They aren’t comfortable anyway.
Don’t chain me down I am a free spirit. Don’t ever tell me I can’t do something, because I will loudly put it in your face that I can. I left my home town at an early age and I have seen many things. I have listened to many stories of people’s lives and I am sad for some but in awe of others. Help me to be in awe of you.
Make a change in your life so that you have a sense of confidence that you yourself have earned. Move forward with me as I step out of the darkness of hurt, shame and pain and into the light and love that exists especially for us. I guess there is my answer. I can go back but take the light with me. I am the light, You are the light, We are the light together.