This morning Ive been thinking about a vision I keep having. I’m holding an elderly persons hand,a woman I think. I see the thin pale skin with arthritic knuckles and veins of soft blue. Its day time, morning I think, because the lights all around us. Its a peaceful but bright light, signifying a new day. She is hanging on to me so I know she is still with me. I cant help but think it is a deja vu of my future. It is a moment that I will have, when I look back and say, wow, Ive been here before. It seems more like a preview of a deja vu.
There is sadness around but not for her or for me. Its from her loved ones. Then it goes away. There are truly significant moments in our lives where we get confirmation and I feel like this is one of them. To me a deja vu is like a road sign in our life saying ,yep, this is the right way. You are back on track and please continue forward . It seems like its been a while since I have had a deja vu. Geez, is this the reminder to tell me to get back on track and catch up. That is what it feels like.
I watched a movie this morning called “Hereafter” with Matt Damon. Its a Clint Eastwood movie. It didn’t get much of a nod from the industry, but isn’t that the way it is . If its paranormal and it doesn’t scare the crap out of you then forget about discussing it or bring it to the forefront. There is a moment during the movie, when one of the characters is under water during the tsunami and she dies and comes back. I cant help but want to go back to the moment where I was under water and dead. I want to feel the feeling of weightlessness and no sense of time and material things.
However I find myself trying not to get so wound up in what the moment was, but what it did for me. I found myself searching at one point, for answers, like everyone does who goes through this. I read books and found a group meeting of others who had gone through similar experiences. The head of this group asked me to speak about my experience. It was the first meeting that I had attended. I felt as if they were hovering, waiting for a different ending to a story that they had already read. The question that we all had in common at one time or another is…was that real? Did it really happen or was it just my imagination.?
Well it really happened and no it wasn’t my imagination. It felt good to share with others and confirm what we all knew to be true. That this life isn’t the only life and that all around us is another realm that we can tap into. Although, there was a heaviness to some of the group members at the Near Death Association, that I couldn’t explain. I went for a second meeting and it was a repeat of the first. All of the same faces stuck in the same moment and I remember thinking to myself, I don’t want to be that . I wont get stuck in that moment of what happened questioning it over and over again. I will acknowledge it and give it the attention that it deserves every now and then. I am stepping forward and trying to bring some attention to the reality of life after life.
I would like to say, as many others have said before me, that there is more that exists and that we can have the near death experience with out floating on it to survive whats left of this life. I believe that its important to embrace and teach from what you know to be true from your own experiences.
There is a character in the movie that is a psychic, but he has not come to grips with is the idea of what he does, is of help to others. Having seen so many fakes in this world he doesn’t want to be responsible if he for some reason gives a message inaccurately. A door opened for him and he was able to help others but it was so over whelming that it was difficult to grasp.
So, I go back to the aged hand that I see myself holding. I believe that while holding that hand we can merge our energies and experiences to smooth way for her journey. I feel her smile and and see her letting go of me while reaching out to her loved ones on the other side. I am hoping in my heart the loved ones remaining are taking note there is no boundary there and that they will one day be reaching out for her when its their time to move on.
I will leave you with a quote from a Charles Frazier book called Cold Mountain, by Maddy the old goat woman “See, I think there’s a plan. There’s a design for each and every one of us. You look at nature. Bird flies somewhere picks up a seed shits a seed out and plant grows. Birds got a job, shits got a job seeds got a job. And you’ve got a job”