The beauty and benefits of composted cow manure ? Really? This is another from the hat topic. My friends are so twisted and I do love them for that. In the old days we didn’t call it composted cow shit, it was ammunition. Here is where the country in me is seriously rearing its ugly head.
There were six kids and not a lot to do way out the middle of nowhere, so we got stupidly creative. There were four boys mind you, and throwing cow shit at their sisters I’m sure sounded like a great idea. Assholes, even back then. When choosing your ammunition make sure its firm enough to pick up yet soft enough when it hits them, the gooey stink sticks to them.
I used the frisbee throwing method. The “cow Puckies” as we called them were round and flat ( sort of) so they were easy to sling from afar. All the while trying to stay hidden behind what ever oak tree was available. There are a few things to remember while being under seige of four brothers throwing cow shit at you. Keep your mouth closed at all times. Learn to duck and run at the same time and only throw your “puckie” when you think you can make contact.
It’s no fun to run out of puckies and have no ammunition left. The thing is we played the same crappy game with horse shit. Good thing we had a truck to try to air out before we got back home. These are the things that entertained us. No X box, no video game or internet. Just pure shit slinging.
So when I pulled the subject out of the hat today, I know this is not what you may associate with composting cow shit but it brought back a whole slew of memories for me. I am going to go above and beyond for you and give you a list of my top sayings with shit in it….I will call it my “Shit List”.
My Shit List
Holy bat shit Robin
The shit is gonna hit the fan
Horse shit and fall back in it
You don’t know Jack shit
You don’t know shit from shinola
That’s a load of shit
Baby shit green
You know, shit rolls down hill
Get your shit together
I don’t give a shit
Knee deep in the shit
Better put your boots on, the shit is getting deep in here
I know there are plenty more, feel free to add to the shit list.