Its been a very emotional time and I have walked away from my words. That makes me feel like shit. When I am hurting emotionally and I don’t really feel like talking or writing I call it “going into my cave”. I am sure plenty of you know what I mean. My mother is disappearing into herself with Alzheimer’s. Her husband is in denial.
I have four brothers who are as useless as tit’s on a bull. I am thousands of miles away and cant get there to help until I sell my home. That is if she will take my help and or if he will accept someone he doesn’t care for in his home.
My best friend is my 10-year-old Maine Coon Sailor and she is dying. My heart is breaking at what she is going through right now. First she had ulcerated cornea and a wound that wouldn’t heal. Now she has a tumor in that same area and I am currently waiting on pathology to confirm what I believe to true in my heart.
Add to this a number of people looking at my house to buy and then nothing. I know, I know it’s not the right time. I get it that we make plans and God laughs. I have prayed and meditated and channeled on what to do. The next step so to speak. It has been said that I have to let go and that is what I think I am doing. I am not great at it but I am trying.
Today I will simply take it moment by moment and try to stay calm and ease myself back into the light that is not my cave in hopes that it will make us all feel better under this roof.